Transformed by Birth

by Britta Bushnell, PHD

I really like this book, I’m not even pregnant and I feel transformed by it! She did a great job connecting things about how we live and think culturally with how we used to in a way that represents not only birth and parenthood but how we take care of ourselves and others. This is a book I definitely encourage my clients to read. I think it is a great way to describe or relate to so many of the parts of pregnancy that nobody has the words for, or they all say the same phrases over and over that don’t help much. I also love that this book was assigned reading for a doula course, as it is not directed at me (the doula) but the knowledge is so powerful for me to grasp and share.

I was reading this book when I went on a trip to visit my friend. She happened to live near a park and was excited to take me to the little walkable stone labyrinths they had there. I had just read the chapter describing how labyrinths relate to birth and freaked out! While walking them it was immediately obvious how good a metaphor this is, you really do feel like some turns are taking you further from the center and feel like it goes on forever but if you keep going you get there! 

There seemed to be a lot of repetition of the main message throughout, specifically the phrases: birth is transformative, it is a rite of passage, there is no right way to do it, there is no way to predict what will happen or how you will feel, and it’s your journey make of it what you wish. As I was going through it I found myself thinking okay I get it you said that earlier. But when I finished I realized that might have been purposeful because repetition is what helps you learn, to really make sure it sinks in or to even use any one or all of those phrases as a mantra. Also, people learn and take in information differently so I liked that there were different methods describing the same concept like stories, myths, straight forward to the point talk and definitions, exercises, thoughts, etc.

The description of opening as a process for labor and birth I really liked, that is a powerful visual for me to hold on to and a great way to gauge how someone is coping - to be able to remind them of releasing tension. I also liked that there was a good chunk of the book spent on postpartum as that is so important and often slightly more overlooked - especially spiritually/conceptually. This seems like a book to keep going back to, especially the postpartum section. I will for sure read it again if I am pregnant. It seems like a great way to sort out all the things while pregnant and make all the preparations but after the baby is born so many things will have changed or shifted (according to the book) so when you actually start to feel and experience the things she is talking about it would probably be helpful to go back and be reminded of the exercises to do and the ways to think about your current situation rather than an imaginary scenario in the future. 

Seems like there is a little bit of a stretch that this book is truly for every type of parent regardless of how they come to be parents. In the beginning she states that “It is for gay parents, heterosexual parents, transgender parents, gender fluid parents, pregnant parents, adoptive parents, surrogate parents..” which is amazing and she does a great job staying inclusive throughout but there was no actual mention of adoption (or story/energy around how to think of how it relates). So much time is spent on the actual physical aspect of labor and tons of focus on the body and mind of a birthing parent. I have a friend going through the adoption process and would love to recommend this book to her for the transformative aspects of parenthood - specifically the sections on the couples transformation together as parents and postpartum. I think she would find it difficult to look past all the specifics of birthing and labor to weed out what is relative to her experience. 

I LOVE the concept of integrating what we know and are learning into the body, that our bodies respond habitually. Just as we prepare our mind by taking in all this knowledge, we also must prepare our bodies to respond how we want when our mind might not be able to access the information. When you go into that natural/wild place of labor the analytical mind takes a step back so the body memory needs to kick in. I am a dancer and relate to this so much. Learning choreography requires repetition - to physically do the movements over and over until you no longer have to think about it your body just does it. When I am performing I go to a different place, I’m not in my regular mind, my body takes over and because it has practiced the movement I can let go and it does the right thing. 

I particularly like the exercise she gives of regularly moving to music in order to “practice letting go of the ideas that follow us into adulthood about our bodies and how they are supposed to move through space.”

Everything about Artemis and Apollo was great, such a good way to think not only about birth but so many of the things we do in life, specifically how we relate to time. Which reminds me of Einstein time, in particular that we are time - that time is not something that is happening to us - it is what we make it. 

She really does encompass it all, which is a bit overwhelming but also so helpful. This book is conceptual - it paints a full picture of what to expect from start to finish and then you can take it and run to make your own experience the way you want - or at least be okay when it's not what you want. She makes you think spiritually/philosophically about birth and parenthood that not a lot of other stuff does. It’s not that she is saying this is what you should believe, she's saying don't forget to think of this spiritually, whatever that means to you. It’s such a call to take care of yourself in a real way with actual action steps that is really motivating - even if you are not pregnant!